Today, me and some other blogger friends are talking about #RealBloggerBeauty. This initiative was started by my friend, Maya, and aims to offset the perfectionism that bloggers (and pretty much all of us) are always striving to achieve. Today, on our own blogs, we’re sharing a personal & perfectly imperfect experience or challenge we’ve encountered in our own lives, just to remind us that, you know, we’re all human. Be sure to visit Maya’s blog, Charmingly Styled, to see a roundup of them all! Nobody’s life is as perfect as it looks in Instagram! So let us all embrace that, together.
At first, I had no idea what to write about. Naturally, I called my Mom, who reminded me what a huge battle I faced with myself starting this blog in the first place, and how I let that insecurity hold me back for years.
So I’m here to talk about that today. Even if you don’t have any interest in blogging specifically, I hope you can find some inspiration in the journey I’ve experienced along the way!
So, how did I start? Well, I didn’t…for a long time. For awhile, “style” was always something that I loved and was intrigued in, but it was never something that I was good at. If you would have stopped one of my friends at Kilroys in college and asked them about my taste in clothing, likely their response would have started with, “bless her heart!…”
I also had a particular knack for sporting huge, oversized belts in attempts to disguise the newly acquired 15 pounds I put on Freshman year. Would anybody (least of all, myself) have guessed I would become a style blogger and for that matter, a Fashion Editor for my favorite website, The Everygirl, (I still wake up some mornings and question if that is in fact, real) 6 years later?
H E L L. N O.
And I carried that silly insecurity with me for years. I let it hold me back from my dream of starting a blog for a really, really long time. Fast forward to 23 year old Jess. My style had gotten measurably better. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of four years, and although I was having a ton of fun living my newly-single-girl-in-the-city life, I also had less of a support system. I had no idea what HTML even was, the nicest camera I owned was my iPhone, and I was afraid if I told anybody my dream of starting a blog, people would think I was joking. I was not going to be “that” girl.
What happened? After about a year of indecisiveness, I threw myself into learning how to code, downloaded a free trial of photoshop, got my hands on a good camera, and just did it. And then kept it a big, fat secret.
I continued posting regularly for awhile, but I would go through periods of doubt and stop blogging all together for weeks and months at a time.
Then, after I’d been dating Neal for about a year, and I finally confessed my “idiotic” blogging dream to him, revealing the fact that I’d been hiding this half-assed site from him all this time. After finally convincing me to let him read it, he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and we did my first outfit shoot that Sunday. He allowed me to see how ridiculous I was being, holding myself back. Would my site be where it is today without that huge push of confidence from him? No, I 100% know that it wouldn’t.
My biggest lesson in this entire experience? It’s not going to just be, “believe in yourself”. That, actually, should be a given. But let’s be honest, it’s hard for us to see the potential our own dreams when we keep them all to ourselves for fear of being scoffed, or laughed at.
As Millennials, we have grown up in the “Just Do It” generation. We’ve heard that the key to success is to just hustle, get it done. That’s great advice, but here’s something that is just as true: sometimes, that “can-do” attitude, isn’t enough.
Not all of us can operate solely on “just do it” fumes. That doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy, or that you don’t deserve the life you want to build for yourself. To get past those moments of hesitation and insecurity — we need the support of others (of course, that’s in addition to busting your ass and always going the extra mile).
Find your cheerleader. Find someone who believes in you, sometimes even more than you believe in yourself. Seek feedback — talk to people. Find others that share similar goals and hold each other accountable — whether that’s a friend, a parent, a significant other, a classmate, or someone you just recently met. You will grow professionally, and as a person, 100 times faster when you have a support team.
Speaking of a support team, that also includes you guys. Those of you who have taken the time to read this astronomically long post, who come to this blog every week, who know me personally or just through this crazy online world — you are my support system, and you are so much of the reason I’m continually inspired.
So thank you! Especially to Maya, for creating such an inspirational project. Be sure to stop over to Charmingly Styled to read what everyone else has to share today.
Have a great week!
I loved this post, not only for its honesty, but for your wonderful words of wisdom at the end! You are one incredible lady. xo
<a href="http://www.isntthatcharming.com">Isnt That Charming.</a>
Aww thank you!! That means so much 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
I couldnt agree with you more! Support is one of the most important things to have in life no matter what aspect of your life you need it in, people need support! The blogging community could be judgmental and intimidating and I am still trying to figure it all out! Very few people of my family and friends even know I blog because Im not sure what they will say or if they will criticize so its nice to know that other bloggers support each other. Now that I have blabbed on (haha) I just wanted to say well written and keep up all your amazing work! You have done such a lovely job on your blog so far that I can’t wait for more!
xoxo Teresa
theteresanicole.com
Thank you so much, Teresa!
I was really hesitant about the blogging community too, but they’ve actually turned out to be the most supportive group of friends yet. I’ve met so many incredible ladies and formed some great friendships — you should definitely get involved! And let’s talk about your amazing beauty tutorials! Keep up the great work – I’m definitely trying your half moon nails soon (I’m SO bad at doing my nails) your videos are so useful! Can’t wait to see where you and your blog go 🙂
You’re so inspiring, Jess, and I feel happier even after spending just five minutes with you! Thanks for the inspiration today. (And for being so awesome in general.) 🙂
Aww you are so sweet! And yours was actually the first one I read this morning 🙂 Keep up the amazing work, lady. I can’t wait to hear about your trip when you get back!!
I’m really enjoying reading through everyone’s stories and realizing I’m not alone in the long list of struggles I deal with. This is extremely inspirational! I’m still fairly new to your blog, but so far..I’m loving it!
This is fantastic advice! I’m just starting up my blog and have been debating about the commitment issue for some time. I just woke up one day and decided to just do it! I haven’t gotten much traffic, but I also haven’t advertised it very well since the design isn’t where I want it yet. Bravo to you for sharing your story!
Thanks for the inspiration!
–Cynthia
http://www.sensiblysharp.com
i’m really enjoying reading all of the posts from maya’s linkup today 🙂 i can totally relate to your story – my blog has been my passion as well and something i was tentative about starting because i thought, who would want to read it? who would really care? and although my friends might not understand what blogging is all about all the time, they are so super supportive of me along with my family. we should celebrate our blogs and all the milestones that come along with them! xo
love your post & the advice! it’s so refreshing to meet such amazing women like yourself through this community 🙂 xox
Right back at you, Shaheen!! I loved your post – so brave of you to share that experience. Hopefully I’ll see you soon!
Lovely post Jess! I too was embarrassed to admit that I had a blog for a long time and even still after creating a strong brand and co-founding the WCBC I sometimes have a hard time admitting it. Finding your cheerleaders and your support system is essential to helping to believe in yourself but we also have to learn how to make the naysayer in our own mind shut up! (That’s what I wrote about in my #RealBloggerBeauty revelation)
Thanks, Erin! So glad to know I’m not alone in feeling that way! You’re the best 🙂 I loved your #RealBloggerBeauty post too!
Awesome post! And P.S. I love the Everygirl!
Thank you, Rachel! I’m so happy to have you following along on both The Golden Girl and The Everygirl!!
I definitely went through the "secret blog" phase, and it was actually my husband who snapped me out of it! He’s so damn proud of me that it’s somewhat embarrassing, he’ll bring up my blog successes and talk about the things I wrote about like I won the Nobel Peace Prize. After awhile, I realized he was right and I SHOULD be proud. I’m glad you found your cheerleader as well!
Haha! I know the feeling! That’s exactly how Neal is. We got so lucky! 🙂
Girlfriend, you are the bomb.com! Thanks so much for sharing your story (even though I have a hard time imaging that you were not very stylish at one point in your life!) I am so impressed you did everything on your own – it’s just an amazing testament to your hard working, incredible, wonderful self 🙂 xx
HA! It’s very true. I have the photos to prove it! And you are too kind – thank you again for starting such an awesome initiative. You’ve gotten so much amazing response, I’m so proud of you!
I love this! I kept my blog from a lot of people when I first started, too… it’s scary to put it out there!!
I’m so glad that I’ve gotten the chance to get to know you better recently- your positivity is contagious and even if you weren’t always "stylish" (when I find hard to believe), you certainly are now!! xoxoxo
Thanks Lauren! I know, I’m so glad we’ve gotten to become friends! Like I told Maya, I have plenty of photographic evidence of my style struggles in the past! Now, we need to get on planning that blogger vacation… (minus the Dave style school bus)
Awesome story Jess! I could tell that Neal was supportive of you and your blog, and blogging in general, just by talking to him for those few minutes a few weeks back! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Mark! I loved your story too. You’re seriously paving your own path, and I love it! Can’t wait to see where things go for you 🙂
I went through the EXACT same process you did, starting my blog. My boyfriend thought I was silly and always teased me for being so much girlier than he realized, but ultimately his support is what made me dive in. Between taking my photos, editing my posts, or just reassuring me that I had something worth saying, he has been a true rock. It is hard to take the plunge when the world has so many expectations of what we "should" be doing, when sometimes we just want to get rid of the "should" and just "do." Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing your experience, Erica! Definitely agreed – that’s really great advice 🙂
I let my insecurities hold me back at my full-time job twice. The first time, I was fresh out of college (4 months, to be exact) and my boss was fired. Instead of stepping up and saying "I can be the senior web designer here" I covered his job and mine for almost a full year (while making just $32K/year) before we hired someone to replace him. And that someone turned out to be a huge jerk. Years later, I did almost the same thing at a different company, letting my "I dunno if I can handle that one part of the job" worries keep me locked in a dead-end designer position instead of applying for a director position. I wasted a couple years in that job, thinking I was as good as I was going to get, and lamenting the "fact". Thankfully I got a much-needed kick in the pants, and my husband can finally stop pestering me about looking for a new "higher-up" job 🙂 Sometimes, it’s not the inner voice you need to listen to, it’s the outer ones telling you "girl, you’re effing awesome, get up there and do something about it already"!
Yes! We’re always our toughest critics – sometimes we just have to take other people’s word for it! Congrats on your new job, that’s definitely something to celebrate!
I LOVE THIS!!! From Today all the way to Today this post feels like I wrote it. All of my dreams and aspirations mixed with fear and insecurities is exactly how I feel with my blog. I’m only 3 months strong but I love that you’re honest at admitting your insecurities but you persevered and found ways to get motivated and stay in tracked. I’ve bookmarked this post as I will be reflecting back on this often as I do aspire to blog full time. I just don’t know where to start sometimes.
Rhianna | http://www.comfessionsaboutnothing.com